Don't Screw the Turkey

Living in Orlando, working at Disney World, there's a holiday that we always seem to skip. Disney likes to "Screw the Turkey." That's right, folks. This week's post is about Thanksgiving.

I know I'm a few days late. Don't judge. I worked nonstop last week. I didn't get online at all, unless you count how many times I checked Facebook on my phone, in which case, I was online a lot. So sue me.

Anyway, Thanksgiving was always a huge deal in the Moore household. The entire family gathered together every year. The immediate family, my mom's parents (Mr. Diddy and Miss Momma), Uncle John and our cousin, Lauren, and sometimes my dad's parents (Granddaddy and Nonny) filled the main level at our house. While the adults prepared the glorious food, we kids usually sneaked downstairs to play some Nintendo 64. (Diddy Kong Racing is the best game ever. Sorry, Mario Kart.) We never helped prepare the meal because it was our job to clean up. So we figured we might as well have fun while we could.

Doesn't that look exhilarating? All while countless hours of listening to certain siblings of the female gender bicker about when the food would be ready because they were about to eat their insides. Must be why that turkey deciding to rape my face.

The adults would always sit around the dining room table while the kids were banished to the table in the sunroom. We didn't mind though, as this was an excellent way to sneak that nasty spinach into our napkins and avoid tasting such awfulness. (I like spinach now, btw. Mom and Dad, you win.) Once the adults discovered what we were up to, however, we devised new ways to hide our spinach. Or we'd eat it. I don't remember who was the first to discover this, but spinach in between two pieces of a roll tastes mighty good!

The last few hours consisted of the family sitting around the main level, catching up on the latest gossip, i.e. what job is Dad working anyway, and do you still drive all that way just to attend an awesome ballet studio? Ya know, important information like that. Sometimes we kids were able to sneak away yet again. Other times we weren't so lucky. "Where are you kids going?" we'd get asked. "We're about to take the family picture!" 3 hours later...

It has definitely been a while since I have enjoyed a Thanksgiving meal with the Moore clan. I haven't joined them for such festivities since 2006. Do I miss it? Of course! I'm sure now, though, we'd all sit together around the same dining room table. We couldn't banish Ann to sit all by her lonesome, her now being the only non-adult. Or could we? :)

While it certainly hasn't been the same celebrating Thanksgiving down here in Orlando, we try our best not to let Disney's turkey screwing get the best of us.

Well, some of us try not to let Disney's habits rub off on us. So far here in Orlando, I've managed to spend each Thanksgiving with a different group of friends. On my program, it was with my roommates. I worked all day while the others cooked a wonderful dinner. In '08, I went to two different Thanksgiving dinners, both hosted by different people, even though the same friends attended both dinners. In '09, I grabbed a quick bite to eat (and maybe a little wine) in between work shifts. And this year I was able to eat a delicious meal cooked by the roomies and friends while I yet again worked all day. Sounds like good times to me!

Since this is a blog about Thanksgiving, I suppose I should mention all the things I am thankful for. Hmm... let's see. What am I thankful for?

1) My family and friends, with whom I've shared some wonderful holiday memories.

2) Sam Raimi and crew for making Spider-Man. My life wouldn't be the same without it.

3) MTV, for creating the wonderful "Daria." Even though it was on the air at the turn of the century, I am just now discovering this gem of a show.

4) Lisa and Chad, who despite having other things to do this evening, relented, and we all decorated the house for Christmas :D

5) My family, who is awesome enough to have this...

...in our household.

HAPPY TURKEY DAY!!!

Screaming Complacency

I know, I know. It's been forever. You don't have to tell me more than once. Have I finished my EPIC post yet? No, I'm still stuck in limbo on that one. Since it has been so long, however, I decided I would grace everyone with a random update.



I LOVE Taco Bell. It is, hands down, my favorite fast food restaurant. Maybe if I had grown up on the West Coast, it would be Del Taco. Well, guess what. I'm a Southern boy from the small town of Newnan, Georgia, and while we did have a Del Taco til '94-ish, it closed, and all we were left with was the East Coast version, Taco Bell.



Even when I was a youngin', Mom would pick me up from school to take me to French class. Even though it was definitely out of the way, we always found time to drive to Taco Bell so I could devour at least five (yes, 5, I was a growing boy) soft tacos with no lettuce. YUM!!! That's still what I enjoy to this very day. Well, now I get the #8, three soft tacos with no lettuce. Every now and then, I'll splurge and get the #7, either a chicken or a steak quesadilla, but that meal still comes with one taco, and I get it. Soft. With no lettuce. Please and thank you.




There have been a few times, one standing out in particular, when something goes wrong. I don't know if it's the wiring at the drive thru, either Mom or myself not speaking clearly, or a break in communication, but sooometimes as I'm driving away, it's there. It's everywhere. LETTUCE! AHHH!!!

Ew.

I'm not a picky person. I'll eat lettuce, but when I see it in my taco, I can't help but cringe. I gotta pick it out. So nasty. Even I don't understand it. I'll eat lettuce with my tacos at any other Mexican restaurant, but there's something about finding lettuce in my Taco Bell tacos that just grosses me out.

There's the aforementioned particular experience that I have to delve upon, and yes, Dad, I just ended that sentence with a preposition. It was early in my Disney College Program in 2007. My training group became a really close group of friends. 11 of us were on the program, but one was a full-time cast member. Her name was Lizz James. She was, and is still, extremely awesome. And she had a car, which was really the main reason we loved her so much. (Just kidding, Lizz!) I really don't remember what adventures we had found ourselves on that evening. I'm sure we had been dealing with daring swordfights, magic spells, or even a prince in disguise. Who knows.

Anyway, it was late, we were hungry, and we wound up driving thru at the nearby Taco Bell. We placed our order, drove thru, and... to my ultimate horror... I discovered... not only was there lettuce in my tacos, but they were... HARD! I mean, really? How can you mess that up? Do "soft" and "hard" sound anything alike? NO! However, being the complacent individual that I am, I merely brushed the lettuce off and hate those stupid hard-shell tacos. It was just awful.

Apparently it was quite the experience for Lizz James. The next day, she informed me that her meal had made her extremely ill. She hasn't eaten Taco Bell since. So sad :( She even wrote lyrics! And I happen to have them! Okay, so this song is set to the tune of Dashboard Confessional's "Screaming Infidelities." It's called "Screaming Complacency."

I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets
I am alone in my defeat
I wish I could drive back thru

I'm missing my home, where they know the drill
Avoiding the things that make me ill
And this little girl is taking me home

Well as for now I'm gonna hear some Disney songs
And sit alone and wonder
Why this taco's hard
And as for me I wish that I was anywhere
But Taco Bell
Taking out

This lettuce it's everywhere
Screaming indecency and don't claim you couldn't hear
This lettuce it's everywhere
But I'm screaming complacency and I swear I don't care

It's epic. And extremely accurate. Lizz had only known me for a month, if that, when she wrote that. Kudos her!

Sooo yeah, that's it for now. And now you know, if you're ever making a Taco Bell run for me, just make absolute sure that those tacos are soft-shelled, and they do not contain any lettuce! Please and thank you!