10.31.2013

The Best of the Best

First things first... HAPPY HALLOWEEN!!

Secondly, there will be no yadda yadda. I love Halloween. I love dressing up. Here's a collage of the best of the best over my 27 years of existence.

Oh heyyy childhood. How you doin?

just three peas in a pod

the cutest Tigger ever!

one of my more obvious costumes. duh.

EEK! BRIGHT LIGHT!

fabulously gay cowboy
also look at that tongue action. Miley before it was cool.

Oh heyyy adulthood!!

Ron Stoppable - '07

Duckie and Andie - '08

David Blaine - '09

Devo - '10

Slutman and Robin - '12

The Belchers!! - '13

And of course some awesome eyebrow action from this evening

306 really takes some fantastic pictures

always ready for a picture

oh gawd he's showing fangs!!

probably Mac Attack's best picture ever

pleeease is this torture over??

Yes, Linus, the torture is definitely over. I hope everyone has enjoyed this flashback/slideshow from Halloween the past couple of decades. If nothing else it shows how obviously fabulous I am and always will be. And how terrifying chihuahuas can be.

10.27.2013

The Perks of Living Downtown

I currently reside in Downtown Orlando. For the uninitiated, there is a difference in Downtown Orlando and Lake Buena Vista, the Disney area. It's about a 30 minute difference on a good day when there's not any traffic... which is never. Despite the drive and money for gas, there are so many reasons to live downtown. Here are a few of them.

1) NO TOURISTS. Lake Buena Vista is notorious for tourists (Thank you, Captain Obvious). It is impossible to get anywhere in a reasonable amount of time. Tourists make it so much worse. Dozens of vehicles drifting from the far right lane to the far left lane with no turn signal, slowing down on ramps because they realized that's not where they want to be at all, and stopping in the middle of the highway for no reason are just a few major annoyances residents have to put up with on a regular basis. I moved away from that area back in February, and I will never look back.

2) MORE CULTURE. Sure, Walt Disney World, Universal, and Sea World are great for the bajillion vacationers slash crazy employees who for some reason visit the parks on their days off. If you want any culture at all though, you gotta head downtown. Being a downtown resident makes the trek so much less time-consuming! Orlando may not be the most cultured place in the good ol' US of A, but there are more things to do. There's both a history and a science museum, dozens of community theaters with many plays performed all year round, and for you party animals there's sooo many bars and clubs up and down the streets you can get lost (and probably shot) at late at night! Win win!

I do want to point out one AMAZING theater I've grown quite a liking toward, and that in the Enzian Theatre just north of downtown in the Maitland area. This theater has it all for a movie buff such as myself. The screen on the inside plays all sorts of movies, mostly independent ones that don't make it to the bigger chains around the city. Every Wednesday night they play a free movie out of the lawn. The films they choose to show are usually of the cult classic variety. For instance this past year I've seen the original Tales from the Crypt, Barbarella, and hopefully in this next week... Flash Gordon (Ah-ahhhh!). I say hopefully because Flash has been scheduled to show three times this year. THREE TIMES! Every time it has been rained out. Ugh. I'm also considering getting a part-time job there btw. I'll keep you dear readers posted on how that turns out.

3) NATURE. Since I do still work in the Disney area at least six days a week, it is very rare that I get to venture out in the area I have chosen to live. When I do though, I like to check out the thousands of parks all right outside my door! 



I've been fortunate enough to obtain a bicycle in the eight months that I've lived here. I chose not to ride it during the summer months i.e. hell on earth, but maybe now that the weather has finally decided to cool down I'll hop back on at least once a week. There's nothing better than riding around all the local parks, scaling every tree in sight.

what men do before noon

Earlier today my roomies and I decided to have a Roomie Day! That consisted of eating lunch (i.e. breakfast) at one of the local Maw & Paw restaurants in the area. Today's model was Chubby's. It was absolutely delightful and delicious, and I foresee many MANY return visits.

While we were still in the area we decided to check out one of the nearby parks. We stopped in Jay Blanchard Park and had quite the expedition (and not the Mickey's Jammin' Jungle type) (and I hate myself for referencing that just now).


Senior Year picture!!

That's right folks. Andie Mac, Twitterless Cartner, and I ventured out of our apartment into the wild and crazy outdoors. Now when I was a little kid I used to play in the woods all the time. I was even known to go camping every once in a while. However living here at Disney for quite some time now it had been a while since I had visited a state park, much less wandered through the woods. I'm a city dweller now. I COULD HAVE DIED! Alas, I did manage to survive our excursion. Here are a few pictures.


Andie and I decided to step off the beaten path. There was a small dirt trail through the woods, and I decided... hey why not see where this goes! See that picture above? That was around the time Andie was done. A few feet later I came upon what was probably the biggest spiderweb I have ever seen in my entire life. Needless to say, back to the sidewalk we went!

The three of us came across a map along out hike. There was a sign for "Wooden Bridges" a ways down the path. The symbol for it looked like an enclosed space so all three of us naturally assumed it meant the bridge was a covered bridge, and since those are like the cutest things ever we decided to check it out! Three miles in the blazing sun and two wooden bridges later, we realized that we had been incredibly mistaken, and our hopes and dreams were shattered. I cannot even begin to describe the anger festering in my veins. Oh, also how stupid I felt. Yeah, maybe stupid is the better word here.

Where's the damn shade?!

There was also a giant tree that would be guh-reat to climb!! So Cartner very gracefully hopped right up, and I... did not, despite many failed attempts and nearly dislocating my shoulder. I don't think Cartner will ever let me live that down. 



Sorry I got a little off-track on the main topic when I started sharing the events of my day. It was just such a wonderful day I couldn't help but share! Also, there's no way today would've happened if we still lived in the Disney area. So thank you, Downtown Orlando, for letting us be all up in you on this fine autumn day. And everyone still living in that Tourist Trap should consider moving downtown. Because it's awesome.

10.06.2013

I'll Be Right Back...

It's that time of year again! The time of year when families go out, pick a pumpkin, carve it, decorate their houses, and hand out cavity-giving candies to all the little youngsters running around begging complete strangers for more sugar.

That's right, folks. This is Halloween (Halloween, Halloween...). What's this, you might ask? Actually you wouldn't ask that. If you are then you're either an extremist Christian or completely sarcastic, and I'm hoping for the latter because I'm really not one for confrontation. Orrr you're just quoting The Nightmare Before Christmas, in which case we can be the best of friends!

Let me find my train of thought... *choo choooo* Found it!

This evening I attended what is #3 of what is at least 5 times of my visiting Universal Studios for their annual Halloween Horror Nights!! Slightly obsessed? Maybe. But hey I bought the Frequent Fear Pass so I gotta make the money worth it okay?! Anyway as I was walking through the Cabin in the Woods house (which is incredible, fellow HHN-goers), I started thinking back when I started enjoying the horror genre period. And the beginning isn't where you would likely suspect...

Let's go back to the year 2001. I was just turning 15, and for some reason still unbeknownst to me, there was one movie I wanted to see and one movie only. That movie was The Others, the 2001 Nicole Kidman movie in which she did not sing. I don't really remember why exactly I wanted to see this movie. I didn't watch horror movies on TV/AMC's Friday night FearFest until after I saw this movie. I guess the future horror movie buff inside me was screaming "HEY SEE THIS MOVIE" sooo needless to say I listened. As did my sister, Emily, and our cousin, Lauren.

Whaaat about this picture would excite a non-horror movie buff?? I'm still confused.

After the first 10 minutes of Jay and Silent Bob Strike Back (my poor virgin ears), the management entered and profusely apologized. Because you know, which is worse? A classic 40s-era ghost story or a usually hilarious writer-director selling out with a movie starring his most famous couple? (Edit: That was 27-year old Joseph writing that last sentence.) Anyyyway, soon the classic ghost story began, and my life would never be the same.

Those macabre opening credits, the shot immediately after of Nicole Kidman waking up from a nightmare screaming her head off, that creepy blind woman suddenly opening those damn closet doors... I will never forget of those moments. Nor will I forget the extremely obnoxious woman sitting to the left of my cousin. "No, don't go in there. They'll get ya!" or "Omg, they're behind you! THEY'RE BEHIND YOU!" Needless to say Emily and Lauren were traumatized, and I was too. You see, none of us had ever seen a horror movie, especially not one in a crowded movie theater full of both experienced horror movie-goers and young teeny-boppers such as the three of us.

Something that night changed within me though. I LOOOVED the adrenaline rush seeping through my system. Every time the music got quiet, my body somehow knew some loud *BANG* was going to happen soon, and every time it did I screamed and giggled with glee. Emily and Lauren did not. Both were hiding in each other's arms. (Edit: Both have seen the movie since then, and neither have any idea why they were both so scared. HELLO! Because you'd never seen a horror movie before.) But again I LOOOVED it, and I would see The Others again one more time before it finished its theatrical run.

That Halloween season I mostly invested my time watching the aforementioned AMC's Friday night FearFest. Sure most of the movies they aired were the sucky sequels to Halloween, Friday the 13th, and Nightmare on Elm Street, but you gotta start somewhere. The only flick I will say I've never been able to return to is Killer Klowns From Outer Space. Being a horror buff, I know that's one of the classic cult horror-comedies of the 80s, but just imagine being 15 years old. You haven't seen but a handful of horror movies in your entire life, and one day when you're flipping through channels, you come across some frikkin clown luring his latest little munchkin victim out of a fast food joint. Trust me. You'll never wanna watch it again. (Note to self: MAN UP!!!)

Somehow I've managed to move on far beyond the Killer Klowns episode to become quite the horror enthusiast. Every October is a different year. A different year for new horror movies I've never seen before, a different year to check out the recent goings-on at Halloween Horror Nights, and a different year to thoroughly check the apartment after each time I watch the Scream trilogy. Because if there's anything that series taught us, it's no matter how big a horror buff you are, there is still the possibility you will do something stoopid, and you will die.

Now I will admit I'm slightly tipsy off some pumpkin ale sooo if you'll excuse me, I'll be right back...