Screaming Complacency

I know, I know. It's been forever. You don't have to tell me more than once. Have I finished my EPIC post yet? No, I'm still stuck in limbo on that one. Since it has been so long, however, I decided I would grace everyone with a random update.



I LOVE Taco Bell. It is, hands down, my favorite fast food restaurant. Maybe if I had grown up on the West Coast, it would be Del Taco. Well, guess what. I'm a Southern boy from the small town of Newnan, Georgia, and while we did have a Del Taco til '94-ish, it closed, and all we were left with was the East Coast version, Taco Bell.



Even when I was a youngin', Mom would pick me up from school to take me to French class. Even though it was definitely out of the way, we always found time to drive to Taco Bell so I could devour at least five (yes, 5, I was a growing boy) soft tacos with no lettuce. YUM!!! That's still what I enjoy to this very day. Well, now I get the #8, three soft tacos with no lettuce. Every now and then, I'll splurge and get the #7, either a chicken or a steak quesadilla, but that meal still comes with one taco, and I get it. Soft. With no lettuce. Please and thank you.




There have been a few times, one standing out in particular, when something goes wrong. I don't know if it's the wiring at the drive thru, either Mom or myself not speaking clearly, or a break in communication, but sooometimes as I'm driving away, it's there. It's everywhere. LETTUCE! AHHH!!!

Ew.

I'm not a picky person. I'll eat lettuce, but when I see it in my taco, I can't help but cringe. I gotta pick it out. So nasty. Even I don't understand it. I'll eat lettuce with my tacos at any other Mexican restaurant, but there's something about finding lettuce in my Taco Bell tacos that just grosses me out.

There's the aforementioned particular experience that I have to delve upon, and yes, Dad, I just ended that sentence with a preposition. It was early in my Disney College Program in 2007. My training group became a really close group of friends. 11 of us were on the program, but one was a full-time cast member. Her name was Lizz James. She was, and is still, extremely awesome. And she had a car, which was really the main reason we loved her so much. (Just kidding, Lizz!) I really don't remember what adventures we had found ourselves on that evening. I'm sure we had been dealing with daring swordfights, magic spells, or even a prince in disguise. Who knows.

Anyway, it was late, we were hungry, and we wound up driving thru at the nearby Taco Bell. We placed our order, drove thru, and... to my ultimate horror... I discovered... not only was there lettuce in my tacos, but they were... HARD! I mean, really? How can you mess that up? Do "soft" and "hard" sound anything alike? NO! However, being the complacent individual that I am, I merely brushed the lettuce off and hate those stupid hard-shell tacos. It was just awful.

Apparently it was quite the experience for Lizz James. The next day, she informed me that her meal had made her extremely ill. She hasn't eaten Taco Bell since. So sad :( She even wrote lyrics! And I happen to have them! Okay, so this song is set to the tune of Dashboard Confessional's "Screaming Infidelities." It's called "Screaming Complacency."

I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets
I am alone in my defeat
I wish I could drive back thru

I'm missing my home, where they know the drill
Avoiding the things that make me ill
And this little girl is taking me home

Well as for now I'm gonna hear some Disney songs
And sit alone and wonder
Why this taco's hard
And as for me I wish that I was anywhere
But Taco Bell
Taking out

This lettuce it's everywhere
Screaming indecency and don't claim you couldn't hear
This lettuce it's everywhere
But I'm screaming complacency and I swear I don't care

It's epic. And extremely accurate. Lizz had only known me for a month, if that, when she wrote that. Kudos her!

Sooo yeah, that's it for now. And now you know, if you're ever making a Taco Bell run for me, just make absolute sure that those tacos are soft-shelled, and they do not contain any lettuce! Please and thank you!