5.18.2020

Dancing With Myself

These past couple of months have been insane. If you had told me at the beginning of the year that our everyday lives would be put to a screeching halt by a global pandemic, I wouldn't have believed you. Yet here we are. Amidst the uncertainty, UFO sightings, and murder hornets a lot of us are struggling to find some sort of new normal.

The Never-Ending Photo Project
For me personally, this time away from both work and the theatre has been eye-opening. At first I was treating the situation like any rational adult would do. I was angry. I was scared. I was drinking too much. I tried to stay active walking 2 miles every other day. I tried to keep my mind off the rapidly spreading virus with projects around the house. My body had other plans.

Around mid-April I started experiencing massive heartburn. It was completely debilitating. I had to cut my walks short and eventually stopped walking entirely. The home project at the time was cleaning out the garage. I helped as much as I could but felt wiped out after merely an hour's work. I kept a close eye on what I was eating. I cut out all alcohol. I even started meditating twice a day. No matter what I did, I couldn't shake the pain or feeling of existential dread.  

After talking to my doctor (lawd, this feels like an infomercial) and explaining my symptoms, she prescribed me both stronger-than-OTC heartburn and anxiety medication. Welcome to adulthood, Joseph! What I think happened is this. My life has always been GO GO GO! With this sudden stop in any activity whatsoever, my body stepped up and said ENOUGH! Now after lots of rest and 10 days on the new medication, I am feeling better. I'm not quite 100% yet, and maybe I never will be, but it's definitely a start.

First walk in a month!
Now it's time to brag a little bit. Today is a notable benchmark for me. Except for one celebratory mimosa, I have not had any alcohol for a month. One whole month! For anyone who knows me, this is definitely an accomplishment. At first I was upset. What better time to drink than at home during a crisis! Then I realized I had guzzled enough beer to keep a bar up and running. It was time to focus on my physical health. I'm not saying I'm going completely teetotal. However now that a month has gone by I'm in a better place both physically and mentally, and I want to keep that going.

To make a long story short (too late), what I'm saying is it's okay. It's okay to be angry. It's okay to be scared. It's okay to drink but don't get crazy. Stay in touch with loved ones. If you're feeling down, reach out and say something. That's what they're there for. Keep in check with your body physically, mentally, and spiritually too! Do what you have to do to stay sane during these scary times. It's taken me a couple of months to fully realize this much, and we're only at the beginning. As we fight for a new normal please remember to stay safe and stay healthy. I'll see everybody on the other side!

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