Them Lights Just Wanna Dance

Whoa. I cannot believe it is already Christmas Day. Where has the year gone? That is the question I ask myself every year. That and "What am I doing with my life?" Yep, stupid Disney. Sometimes I feel I'm wasting my life away working here. Don't get me wrong. I looove the job, but there are times when I'm just over it. The problem is, I'm way too complacent to do anything about it. Then again, I do turn 25 next year. It's probably about time I did something with my life. Just gotta figure out exactly what that something is... But that's another post for another time. Right now, I want to share my love for an awesome spectacle Disney guests get to see every year, and that spectacle is... the Osborne Lights!!!

I first moved down to Orlando in 2007 for my College Program here at Disney. Unfortunately, I was unable to view the awesomeness that is the Lights (yes, from here on out I refer to them as the Lights). Mickey's Once Upon a Christmas Time Parade owned my life that year, which is okay because it was fun, but still... I had no life. This turned out to be in a blessing in disguise, however, because my first visit to the Lights in 2008 was an experience I will never ever forget. Great times, great friends, great music... it was magnificent.

the '08 crew

I remember when I first turned that corner onto the Streets of America. That feeling of breathlessness and awe. I couldn't move a muscle for at least five minutes. Nothing is better than having everybody staring at me. I'm such an attention hog. Nah... but it did take a few moments to come back to reality. It's hard to believe that allll these lights used to be all over a family's house. That's crazy. Good for the Osbornes, and good for them for making a deal with Disney and letting them use their lights for the entire world, but mostly me, to enjoy! So thoughtful.

So what makes the Lights the best thing in the world? Who knows, really. I'm a huge fan of Christmas. I love the season, even though it's difficult to celebrate it separately since Disney starts the season before Halloween. I guess that's how it is anywhere though. I mean, ever since I remember even the stores used to put up Christmas decorations around Easter. This is an exaggeration, of course, but I can't be too far off.

Everything about the Christmas season is fantastic. The music is definitely a big plus. I try so hard not to listen to the music until after Thanksgiving, but sometimes I can't help myself. Fortunately for me, guess what just so happens to be a big part of the Lights? Christmas music! What's my personal favorite? Barbara Streisand's "Jingle Bells" is the bomb diggity. Yo.

Barbara must be playing!!!

As the holiday tunes play, the lights dance along with them, and it's pretty gosh dern cool. It's amazing to watch as they flash and twinkle on and off, and there are so many that there's something new to watch every visit! I would love to go right now, but I kinda have this dinner thing with some aquaintances, i.e. shindig with the best friends ever! Oh, and to enter the park on Christmas Day would make me clinically insane. Not that anyone who did is...

I'm getting way off track. Where was I? What is the color of those red firetrucks? Oh, right, the Lights. There's sooo much you can do when you visit! You can trek across the street (with one "t") of New York, of course, but there's the substreet that takes you to San Fran, and it's equally as cool. I like to dance along with the lights. I'm a dancer. (You looked like you wanted to know.) If it was ever actually cold in Florida, I'm sure it would be fun to sip on some hot chocolate while gazing in admiration...

gazing without the cocoa

If you're a fan of Photopass, there are two or three fun spots for pictures: in front of the giant Christmas tree, down San Fran, and right after you turn the corner onto the Streets of America.

the fam in '09

Of course, there's always time to act silly too. Bring your own camera, and make your own memories! I have countless pictures of my various trips to the Lights, wayyy too many to post on here. As I said before, dancing with the music is fuuun! Or in this young man's case...

...don't dance. Then your friends will try to pull you out on the street, and when they do, let go, and see the hilarity that ensues. Let me tell you, that girl takes an elbow to the face like a champ!

Anyway, I think I've gone on long enough. Osborne Spectacle of Dance Lights. Go now. I don't care if you're on some crazy family trip to visit the Aborigines in Australia. End that foolishness right now, buy a plane ticket (for 3), fly to Orlando, and witness the Lights before they go away in a couple of weeks or so. You won't regret it! Have I sold the Lights enough? No? Well... I have one picture left...

I mean, if that doesn't make you wanna go, I don't know what else will. Deuces.

Don't Screw the Turkey

Living in Orlando, working at Disney World, there's a holiday that we always seem to skip. Disney likes to "Screw the Turkey." That's right, folks. This week's post is about Thanksgiving.

I know I'm a few days late. Don't judge. I worked nonstop last week. I didn't get online at all, unless you count how many times I checked Facebook on my phone, in which case, I was online a lot. So sue me.

Anyway, Thanksgiving was always a huge deal in the Moore household. The entire family gathered together every year. The immediate family, my mom's parents (Mr. Diddy and Miss Momma), Uncle John and our cousin, Lauren, and sometimes my dad's parents (Granddaddy and Nonny) filled the main level at our house. While the adults prepared the glorious food, we kids usually sneaked downstairs to play some Nintendo 64. (Diddy Kong Racing is the best game ever. Sorry, Mario Kart.) We never helped prepare the meal because it was our job to clean up. So we figured we might as well have fun while we could.

Doesn't that look exhilarating? All while countless hours of listening to certain siblings of the female gender bicker about when the food would be ready because they were about to eat their insides. Must be why that turkey deciding to rape my face.

The adults would always sit around the dining room table while the kids were banished to the table in the sunroom. We didn't mind though, as this was an excellent way to sneak that nasty spinach into our napkins and avoid tasting such awfulness. (I like spinach now, btw. Mom and Dad, you win.) Once the adults discovered what we were up to, however, we devised new ways to hide our spinach. Or we'd eat it. I don't remember who was the first to discover this, but spinach in between two pieces of a roll tastes mighty good!

The last few hours consisted of the family sitting around the main level, catching up on the latest gossip, i.e. what job is Dad working anyway, and do you still drive all that way just to attend an awesome ballet studio? Ya know, important information like that. Sometimes we kids were able to sneak away yet again. Other times we weren't so lucky. "Where are you kids going?" we'd get asked. "We're about to take the family picture!" 3 hours later...

It has definitely been a while since I have enjoyed a Thanksgiving meal with the Moore clan. I haven't joined them for such festivities since 2006. Do I miss it? Of course! I'm sure now, though, we'd all sit together around the same dining room table. We couldn't banish Ann to sit all by her lonesome, her now being the only non-adult. Or could we? :)

While it certainly hasn't been the same celebrating Thanksgiving down here in Orlando, we try our best not to let Disney's turkey screwing get the best of us.

Well, some of us try not to let Disney's habits rub off on us. So far here in Orlando, I've managed to spend each Thanksgiving with a different group of friends. On my program, it was with my roommates. I worked all day while the others cooked a wonderful dinner. In '08, I went to two different Thanksgiving dinners, both hosted by different people, even though the same friends attended both dinners. In '09, I grabbed a quick bite to eat (and maybe a little wine) in between work shifts. And this year I was able to eat a delicious meal cooked by the roomies and friends while I yet again worked all day. Sounds like good times to me!

Since this is a blog about Thanksgiving, I suppose I should mention all the things I am thankful for. Hmm... let's see. What am I thankful for?

1) My family and friends, with whom I've shared some wonderful holiday memories.

2) Sam Raimi and crew for making Spider-Man. My life wouldn't be the same without it.

3) MTV, for creating the wonderful "Daria." Even though it was on the air at the turn of the century, I am just now discovering this gem of a show.

4) Lisa and Chad, who despite having other things to do this evening, relented, and we all decorated the house for Christmas :D

5) My family, who is awesome enough to have this...

...in our household.

HAPPY TURKEY DAY!!!

Screaming Complacency

I know, I know. It's been forever. You don't have to tell me more than once. Have I finished my EPIC post yet? No, I'm still stuck in limbo on that one. Since it has been so long, however, I decided I would grace everyone with a random update.



I LOVE Taco Bell. It is, hands down, my favorite fast food restaurant. Maybe if I had grown up on the West Coast, it would be Del Taco. Well, guess what. I'm a Southern boy from the small town of Newnan, Georgia, and while we did have a Del Taco til '94-ish, it closed, and all we were left with was the East Coast version, Taco Bell.



Even when I was a youngin', Mom would pick me up from school to take me to French class. Even though it was definitely out of the way, we always found time to drive to Taco Bell so I could devour at least five (yes, 5, I was a growing boy) soft tacos with no lettuce. YUM!!! That's still what I enjoy to this very day. Well, now I get the #8, three soft tacos with no lettuce. Every now and then, I'll splurge and get the #7, either a chicken or a steak quesadilla, but that meal still comes with one taco, and I get it. Soft. With no lettuce. Please and thank you.




There have been a few times, one standing out in particular, when something goes wrong. I don't know if it's the wiring at the drive thru, either Mom or myself not speaking clearly, or a break in communication, but sooometimes as I'm driving away, it's there. It's everywhere. LETTUCE! AHHH!!!

Ew.

I'm not a picky person. I'll eat lettuce, but when I see it in my taco, I can't help but cringe. I gotta pick it out. So nasty. Even I don't understand it. I'll eat lettuce with my tacos at any other Mexican restaurant, but there's something about finding lettuce in my Taco Bell tacos that just grosses me out.

There's the aforementioned particular experience that I have to delve upon, and yes, Dad, I just ended that sentence with a preposition. It was early in my Disney College Program in 2007. My training group became a really close group of friends. 11 of us were on the program, but one was a full-time cast member. Her name was Lizz James. She was, and is still, extremely awesome. And she had a car, which was really the main reason we loved her so much. (Just kidding, Lizz!) I really don't remember what adventures we had found ourselves on that evening. I'm sure we had been dealing with daring swordfights, magic spells, or even a prince in disguise. Who knows.

Anyway, it was late, we were hungry, and we wound up driving thru at the nearby Taco Bell. We placed our order, drove thru, and... to my ultimate horror... I discovered... not only was there lettuce in my tacos, but they were... HARD! I mean, really? How can you mess that up? Do "soft" and "hard" sound anything alike? NO! However, being the complacent individual that I am, I merely brushed the lettuce off and hate those stupid hard-shell tacos. It was just awful.

Apparently it was quite the experience for Lizz James. The next day, she informed me that her meal had made her extremely ill. She hasn't eaten Taco Bell since. So sad :( She even wrote lyrics! And I happen to have them! Okay, so this song is set to the tune of Dashboard Confessional's "Screaming Infidelities." It's called "Screaming Complacency."

I'm cuddling close to blankets and sheets
I am alone in my defeat
I wish I could drive back thru

I'm missing my home, where they know the drill
Avoiding the things that make me ill
And this little girl is taking me home

Well as for now I'm gonna hear some Disney songs
And sit alone and wonder
Why this taco's hard
And as for me I wish that I was anywhere
But Taco Bell
Taking out

This lettuce it's everywhere
Screaming indecency and don't claim you couldn't hear
This lettuce it's everywhere
But I'm screaming complacency and I swear I don't care

It's epic. And extremely accurate. Lizz had only known me for a month, if that, when she wrote that. Kudos her!

Sooo yeah, that's it for now. And now you know, if you're ever making a Taco Bell run for me, just make absolute sure that those tacos are soft-shelled, and they do not contain any lettuce! Please and thank you!

No "Glee" for Me?

So I have this EPIC post in progress, and I've been stalling on an update because I'm currently suffering from writer's block. It's awful, and I haven't worked on it in five days. I'll get working on it again soon though! In the meantime, I watched a show last night that SUCKED, and it's time for me to voice my opinion. It pains me to say this, but Glee, you've disappointed me.

*Spoilers Ahead*

Glee was awesome when it first started last year. Every week I would sit down to watch it. If I was able to watch it the evening it aired, I was usually with a group of friends. If not, I caught it later on the DVR. I was hooked. This is saying a lot because I really don't watch TV shows, at least while they're on the air. The first thirteen episodes were fantastic, and I think this has to do with the fact that they were all written and filmed at the same time. The second half of the first season was also decent, but I began to get the feeling that some of the episodes were disjointed. They'd deal with issues in one episode, and the next episode it didn't even matter. Now, that's fine. Every show does that. Whatever. It happens. Then the second season started...

Now don't get me wrong. I do still love the show. It's just spectacular. But there's only been five episodes so far this season, and if someone doesn't work out these issues, the show may lose fans. Just sayin'.

For one thing, is it just me, or has Rachel become a caricature of herself? It's one thing to be overzealous, but it's another thing entirely to be some self-serving snot-faced snothead. Thankfully, in these past two episodes, this has been tuned down a little bit. Remember, though, in that first episode when she sent that new girl to a crack house just because she felt threatened of losing her star status? Not cool.

Also, what on earth is going on with Will Schuester? I'm not exactly sure when it happened, but Schue has turned into a selfish jerk. It's one thing to have a crush on someone you can't have, but twice now he has acted completely out of line in terrible attempts to impress Emma Pillsbury, the school counselor. The first time, in the "Britney" episode, was okay up until he decided to join the kids onstage. The second time, though, he straight up forced the Glee kids to perform Rocky Horror solely to impress Emma. That's something his ex-wife would've done. I'm sorry, but if Will doesn't learn his lesson, I hope Emma stays with John Stamos. The two of them are so happy together, and her condition is actually improving. I'm all for the writers making Rachel and Will more human, but if they continue this selfish behavior, the show's two main characters will be impossible to root for, and that's just... rude.

I've also noticed how uneven the show has become. It started the second half of last season, but it's gotten worse. This isn't a major complaint, but it needs to be said. I love the event episodes, and I gotta give the writers props for at least trying to continue the storyline, but it just seems to me that one week will be terrific with great lines and great character development. Then the event episodes are there solely to entertain, dropping everything that happened the previous week. I may be exaggerating a little bit, but I'm on a rant so forgive me.

Anyway I'm going to continue watching the show. Hopefully these issues will improve since this season is still fairly new. If not, I gotta say it's not going to keep my interest. There are lots of other shows that I could be watching. I choose to watch Glee because I relate to all the issues the writers continue to bring up. Anyway, that's my opinion, and I'm sticking to it. Feel free to talk amongst yourselves. Bottom line is, shape up, Glee! I know you can!

Octoberween

Lawd. What happened to weekly updates? I don't know. Maybe my three jobs got in the way... Nah, I'm just lazy. So here's my new post! Yay!!!

Since it is the month of October, I thought I would focus this post on the most wonderful time of the year. Ah, Christmas, you say? Alas, you would be incorrect. Halloween is the correct answer. Though I suppose if you work at Disney (like I do), all the fall and winter holidays start to run together. For instance, I have begun rehearsals for Celebrate the Season, the Castle Show at Magic Kingdom during the Christmas season. It's a lot of fun, so you guys should come check it out! I'm getting off track. What was I talking about? Ah, yes, Halloween!

The main reason I love the month of October is it gives me an excuse to watch every single horror movie ever made. A lot of people I know ABHOR horror movies, and I understand that... I guess. To each his own. However, I absolutely ADORE horror movies. I don't really know why. Maybe I love the adrenaline rush. Maybe I love being scared. Maybe I'm just some psycho freak. Whatever the reason, I have loved watching horror movies ever since I saw The Others back in 2001 with my sister Emily. Aw, man, that was good times... but that's another story entirely.

Now, I said I love to watch every horror movie ever made. That is, of course, an exaggeration. Actually, so far this year my horror movie watching is lacking. Thus far I have only watched Pirahna (the original), The Fog, The Others, and Suspiria. All are fantastic examples of their respective subgenres, i.e. campy fun, ghost stories, etc, but I really need to get serious. I only have a couple of weeks left! Where has the time gone? What's that, you ask? What else do I still need to watch? Here's a list:

1) the Evil Dead trilogy

2) the Poltergeist trilogy (or just the 1st one; the other two suck)

3) the Scream trilogy

4) Halloween

5) Friday the 13th

6) Nightmare on Elm Street

7) The Nightmare Before Christmas

8) The Rocky Horror Picture Show

9) Night of the Creeps

10) Shaun of the Dead

There are others too, of course, but those were the ones that popped into my head. Sooo yeah, I gotta work on that.

Another reason I love Halloween is the chance to get all dressed up. Now, I don't go crazy or anything, but for the past few years, I've had some fun! Here are some pics:

'07 - Ron Stoppable (and Rufus) from "Kim Possible"

'08 - Duckie and Andie from Pretty in Pink

'09 - David Blaine (from the Youtube vids) and his Cheez-Its

You're thinking it, and it's true. I am that awesome. This year I'm thinking 80s nerd rocker, like Devo or something. Like I said... AWESOME! Also, like the horror movie watching, I really need to get on this. Parties are coming up just next week, and I don't have any costume pieces! Oh, nooo! (That previous statement was said like Bruce from "Family Guy." Just FYI.)

So yeah I think that will suffice for now. I apologize for the lack of time travel in this post. Maybe next week! Oooh, and I'll make sure to keep you guys updated on which horror movies I watch, because I know most of my readers are sooo interested in the movies I watch :) Until next time!

Waiting for the Web-Slinger

The year: 2002. Whether you took a DeLorean, a telephone booth, traveled nude through some eletric globe, or simply clicked on a link, you're here. I am a mere 15 years old, a freshman in high school. My mother is home-schooling my sisters, Emily and Ann, and myself downstairs at our home in Newnan, Georgia. I dance about 4-5 days a week at our ballet studio in Fayetteville, Georgia. I always shut myself in my room for hours, writing inane stories that I am convinced are going to be the next blockbuster. When I decide to grace others with my presence, I may join Emily and our ballet friends to watch whatever movie we are obsessed with at the time (Bring it On, Charlie's Angels, The Emperor's New Groove, etc...). Life is great.

I also have a HUGE crush on Ms. Kirsten Dunst. Right now she is mostly known (to me anyway) for her perky turns in teeny-bopper flicks such as Bring it On, Drop Dead Gorgeous, and Dick, but I have been a fan ever since Jumanji in 1995. I don't have a reason. Maybe her perkiness appeals to me. I'm getting off subject. I adore her. That is all.

I saw a preview sometime last fall for her latest movie, Spider-Man. Now, of course I am going to see this movie. My crush is in it! I know who Spider-Man is. Who doesn't? But I've never read any of the comic books, nor have I watched the old cartoons or the live-action 70s TV show. Tobey MacGuire looks all geeked up, and I'm a geek myself, so who knows? Maybe I'll relate to his plight. But I'm going to see my girl. Heeey, Kiki!

Today is Friday, May 3. My youngest sister, Ann, just celebrated her 7th birthday. Okay, that's exciting. No one is happier than I am that you still can't drive. There are just more pressing matters at hand. When do I get to see Spider-Man?!

Mom just informed me we're going up to Lenox to shop for Ann, i.e. so Emily can get cute new clothes. Yay, can we please go to the mall? It's only my favorite pasttime ever. Not. I think I'll stay here and write the day away. Oh, I have to come too? Or not.

The car ride from Newnan is fun. I may have vaguely hinted that Phipps Plaza is not even a 5 minute drive from Lenox AND it still has a movie theater. My family is too busy laughing at young Ann singing along to Cake's "Comfort Eagle." Note to self: speak up.

Lenox is equally exhilarating. All of these clothing stores look the same to me. Emily keeps suggesting I get new clothes. Um, no. I'm fine with looking like a total dweeb. This mall needs a video store. What time is it? Noon. Why hasn't Emily... Oh, there she goes. We better get some food. Pronto. I am NOT putting up with "Grumpy Gus." I'm glad I can think all this without showing any facial expression at all. What's the word for it? It was on my vocab list. Umm... Complacent! Yeah, that's what I am... Not for much longer though.

Lunchtime. Dad just bought today's paper. What for? I mean, I'm content. I have my Taco Bell. Three soft tacos with no lettuce. I'm a simple guy. But why is Dad looking through the paper? What did Emily just ask? Can we get cookies after this? I mean, I wouldn't mind one, but they're at the other end of the mall. Do I want one that badly? The answer is no. I just want to see my future girlfriend repeatedly finding herself in precarious situations and having to be rescued by some guy in spandex. That's all I want. But I don't speak my opinion, and now Ann wants a cookie too. Note to self: be more opinionated.

Okay, we all have our Great American cookies. They're delicious. And we're leaving? YAY!!! I mean... yay. Perhaps some Billy Joel on the way home? Yes, please! Buuut Dad isn't playing any music. Are we going to have a family talk? No, thank you. Annnd the interstate is the other way. Could we... No... Are we... turning into Phipps?!? Okay, Joseph, try to contain your excitement. There is a really good bookstore here. You can amuse yourself there. Wait... Okay, we just passed the bookstore, and I see the theater. This is all happening so fast! Dad just bought five tickets for Spider-Man. Or did he? Is it September? Last time I checked it was still May, and we're celebrating Ann's birthday. Not mine. I can't believe this is happening!

Opening credits. I'm already sucked in. The score is nothing short of amazing. And there's my wife's name! Hey, honey, how are you? I'll call after the movie is over. There may be some judging but mostly fawning over your awesomeness. What am I doing? This is a movie. I'll get back to you later.

The Best Movie Ever is over. I'm still glued to my seat. I can barely hear Emily whining about how stupid the movie's ending is. But I totally understand why Peter couldn't be with Mary Jane. Mostly because she's mine but also because he couldn't bear to continuously place her in danger's hand. It makes complete sense. Emily needs to quit complaining. She's only 12. What does she know?

I'm silent on the way home. I know for a fact this movie has changed something inside me. My life is rocked upside down. All I want to do is write. Write, write, write... Mostly about saving Kirsten Dunst. That girl is always getting herself into trouble. I also know I want a tattoo of a spider. As much as I hate spiders, there's just something about this movie... the character of Peter Parker. AHHH! Peter! You have nooo idea how much I relate to you. Well, minus getting bitten by a radioactive spider and that whole Uncle Ben thing, I know exactly how you feel. Getting picked on at school, pining over a girl you can't have... Sure, it may sound superficial, but us geeks gotta stick together. You're my new best friend.

I've gotta see this movie again as soon as possible. And I will. Once Spider-Man has finished its run in theaters, I will have seen it a total of four times. Mom and Emily won't come again, but Ann will see it once more, and Dad and I will share the next two viewings and afterward discuss the movie's strengths and weaknesses. As if it has any weaknesses. It is perfection. All you naysayers can say what you will. Of course other movies are better. They'll have better directors, better actors, better writing, better pacing, better editing, etc. But despite all this, no movie will EVER replace such a film so amazingly close to my heart. What movie is this? It's Spider-Man.

Welcome to My Blog

Well, hello! I have no idea why I started this blog. Oh, wait, yes I do. On a recent trip back home, I discovered my sister had started a new blog, and it's hilarious. So I figured why not start one myself? I love to write, and I haven't really written a lot lately. Maybe this will help me get back into that! The problem is now that I have this thing, I'm not really sure what to say. I'm not a terribly exciting person. So if you've come here to peruse about how a dashing hero (myself) narrowly rescues a beautiful damsel in distress (Kirsten Dunst) from the clutches of a grisly fate, you've come to the wrong place. All I can offer is at least ONE interesting story per week, all about the life of me, Joseph Robert Moore: Complacent Extraordinaire. So fasten those seatbelts. It's time to nut up or shut up.